Dear Ex- Best Friend,
It feels so foreign to call you that. For the past 8 years I’ve called you “sis”. Because that’s how close we were. You were my twin sister separated at birth. Even though other’s call you their twin now, I was there first. But I’m happy they’re here for you now. You deserve that.
“Maybe some people just aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It’s like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn. And that’s why they’re here. You’ll have that gift forever.��?—Danielle Steel
A gift, a blessing, a lesson learned. You were always those things wrapped into one. You were a gift when we met in the 6th grade and had matching Hannah Montana shirts. You were a blessing when you’re family became mine and your mom convinced me to go to Senior prom. You were also a blessing when you ditched Senior Prom with me to go cry in a Taco Bell and stuff our faces with cheesy crunch burritos. You were a lesson learned when I realized you were starting to push me away for things that were my fault, but weren’t really my fault…
We so badly wanted to go down the same path of happiness. We dreamed of living next door to each other as kids and rather quickly we found out that wasn’t the dream boat it was cracked up to be in our day dreams. We wanted to find success and we did, but in such different ways. We wanted to find love and passion. You’ve done that through your self-expression and traveling. I’ve done that through a relationship, which I wouldn’t trade for all the traveling in the world.
I’ve found happiness, love, and peace. I have the happiest life and I’ve worked so hard to get myself to love the life that I’ve been given. But I hate that you’re not apart of that. I hate that you won’t be my Maid of Honor in my wedding. I hate that you’re not here to help me find my wedding dress, like you did my prom dress. I hate that when I have a baby, you won’t be an “auntie”. I hate that every time an old country song comes through the radio static, I have to change the station.
I hate that we fight, but I’m done with all of it. I have to say that this is the absolute worst heart break I’ve ever been through. I haven’t shed any tears, said any hateful words about you, or cursed you when that country song does come on. But I’ve certainly felt it in my heart and I’m ready to stop feeling it. So I’m letting it all go-including you.
I wish you the absolute best life that you can find out there. I hope that you will search for that life and never give up until you have it right in front of you. I hope that you’ll have the best career you can imagine. I hope that you go to all the best concerts, even if you have to sneak your way in. I hope that you’ll spend more time at the beach than you do in bed somedays. I hope that you’ll just turn off Netflix sometimes and go for a walk and enjoy the sun. I hope that you’ll make a thousand more trips to Waffle House in the middle of the night and I hope that you’ll go to the Pier when you’ve had a bad day. I hope you find a love of a lifetime, the kind that will wake you up in the morning with coffee and be your best friend when you’ve lost yours. I just hope you find happiness and the life you deserve.
I’m sorry I can’t be there to help you find that life and I’m even more sorry I can’t be apart of that life for you. But I wish you all the world has to offer. You weren’t meant to be in my life forever. But I’m glad you were apart of it.
PS- Ask Nana to mail me some Blackberry jelly. I’m almost out.
PSS- No, I didn’t get rid of that stupid shirt. But you still can’t have it back.